Saturday, 13 June 2015

cycling can't fix everything

My Mom suffers from Dementia, a once proud, bright, funny lady is now under going the effects of this horrible condition that robs a person of their personality. But the worst part of it is the bouts of clarity in between where she realises what is happening. It is so cruel and it's so upsetting for her and my Dad who is now her full time carer. Their retirement plans now ruined, it's an awful existence. And apart from making sure they have everything they need there's not a damn thing I or anyone else can do to fix it.
This ride was to try and clear my head of all the thoughts buzzing around it, I don't mind admitting leaving quite a lot of tears on the route. I was just pedalling, I'm not even that sure of where i went, it was probably just as well I was on quiet routes as i wasn't really paying attention. a number of riders passed in the opposite direction and acknowledged me but I'm sorry to say i either didn't notice until they had passed or i ignored them.
Eventually i found my way home, I was hoping a long ride would tire me out enough for me to switch off and give me some clear thoughts on how to move forward, to find some positives to cling to but even cycling can't fix this
ride 76
11 miles
total 1249
commute 306

4 comments:

Deadly Dan said...

Needs an unlike button. Just know friends are close by and ready to help in any way possible.

Shotokan Cyclist said...

My mom was full time carer for my dad, I know what it's like to feel helpless. Just being there helps, fella.

Let me know if you feel like a chat.

Unknown said...

This little minion is here too, I might be small but I have broad shoulders.

TrevorW�� said...

My thoughts are with you....
My own late Mother had Dementia so I understand some of the feelings you must be currently having.....